Things that were broken

The outbreak of peace in our house continues. It’s brilliant. That’s the thing, when life has been so relentlessly crap for so long, it just needs to be less crap for a few weeks and everything is a complete joy.

I went to the Yorkshire and Humber Adoption Consortium annual conference this week – had a ball (I so enjoyed meeting everyone). I caught up with old friends in the pouring rain – brilliant. I spent two hours selling raffle rickets in a field yesterday, and even that was a blast.

Living in a state of near hysterical joy (for one never knows when it will end) means that things get done as there is at last time and head space to tackle Mount Must Do. On the Must Do list for this week was:

RING PLUMBER: heating has been malfunctioning for … two years, radiator has been leaking for …. five years.

RING OIL TANK SUPPLIER: oil tank is old and has cracks in it, which means it cannot be refiled. Current oil level = empty.

RING TREE SURGEON: massive tree has needed cutting down for … at least three years, but at last I have a certificate saying it is allowed to go.

FIX LAWNMOWER: broken for six months, state of lawn = dire.

On a separate Must Do list has been, lose some weight. Living in Trauma Central is bloody terrible for the BMI. That’s been done too.

In other news, Mr D has been building a summer house in our garden. He took some unpaid ‘I take it or I go insane’ leave from work last year and spent weeks in a happy bubble of woodmanship drowning out the crap with power tools. It’s almost finished, and it looks fabulous. I bought some cane furniture for fifteen quid in a charity shop ¬†and have sprayed it green (apple green, if you will). I won’t mention how much I’ve spent on the paint.

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There has been a theme around our family for a long time about Rock Bottom. Mr R (trusty therapist) had been saying to me for ages ‘we often only see a turnaround when our children and young people take things to rock bottom and you need to think about how far down you are willing to follow’. It took me ages to see it but he was on the money. Both he and our family therapist C were also on the money as they helped Mr D and I to work out when we needed to shout ‘enough’ and how to do that as therapeutically as we were able. This process has played a large part in our survival of Rock Bottom and current state of flourishing.

I sit here typing and I can hear our family outside, doing their things, having fun in the sunshine. I’m going out now to join them. Things that were broken are being mended and it’s a complete joy.

4 thoughts on “Things that were broken

  1. Threebecomefour

    It’s amazing! Having children with trauma and attachment issues or FASD/ADHD or any other issue that impacts behaviour really changes your perception of a good day and a bad day. A good day for me is one where I’m not gagging for wine at 7pm (or before). Katie going straight to sleep at bedtime can seal the deal on a perfect day! Not having things thrown or being hit or spat at also makes for a perfect day. We’ve had a good run lately although a challenging few days in the run up to my birthday. That’s nothing new though. Your summer house looks wonderful – a real bolt hole! I hope it brings some peace xx

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  2. Anne Warner

    Hi
    My husband & I adopted 2 little ones in 2001 & like you have had a very similar journey.
    Boy do I wish I knew what I know now back in 2009 when after 3 years of attachment therapy our son was further attached to us & his brick wall thicker.
    I have just read ‘No Matter What’ & it could’ve been us, only difference being our son was 2 & our daughter 9/12 when placed with us.
    Similar daily challenges, disbelief from professional & outsiders who expected that having been adopted at such an early age the ‘love’ could fix everything.
    Long story to getting their needs recognised.
    The battle to help our son continues.
    Would be good to talk.
    Kind regards.
    Anne

    Reply

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