Listography

  • I was born in the summer of ’68, with teeth
  • Eddie Mair, Lesley Knope, Ray Mears, Rose Elliott are some of my fantasy dinner party guests
  • I like to read and Sarah Waters, Kate Atkinson, Elizabeth Taylor are some of my favourites
  • I like to watch The Flight of the Conchords, Spaced, Poldark, Parks and Recreation, Modern Family, Scandi, Neighbours
  • Worst habit: swearing
  • Best thing I’ve heard recently: ‘You’ve won an award’
  • Most annoying thing I’ve heard recently: ‘I’ve made all my socks into a sock puppet, taken it to school and left it there’
  • I have a love/hate relationship with: Radio 4
  • I get paid for: writing, talking
  • I don’t eat: anything with legs (although crab, does that count?)
  • I would like to see a recovery in: the economy, debate, the centre left, mental health services
  • I would like to see the end of: SATs, post-factual politics, Question Time, cup cakes, lists
  • Message I would most like the world to hear: ‘have some compassion for children who have experienced early trauma, forgive them for not being quite like you, invite them to your birthday parties’
  • Favourite addiction:  tea, loose-leaved, strong

10 thoughts on “Listography

  1. Jo

    I ould probably write a very similar list to you, I don’t eat anything with a face! Well except those vegetarian gumy bears you can get! Even then I try not to bite the head off but eat them whole to minimise the trauma!

    Love your blog, you write well with a lovely warmth and undercurrent of humour.

    Reply
    1. admin Post author

      Thank you so much for your kind words and the knowledge that I’m not the only vegetarian left in the UK (there used to be so many of us!). Glad you like the blog.

      Reply
  2. Tilly

    What a great site, I am an early adopter just entering into the thros and this made me laugh and made me think about what people are going to expect from our daughter. They can expect away,

    Reply
    1. admin Post author

      Tilly,
      Yes, tuning out the expectations of others is a difficult part of parenting adopted children. Ranting and humour have helped me (and so have Cadburys).
      I wish you all the very best.
      Sally

      Reply
  3. Jane

    I have just come across your blog and have found it very interesting. Also I was interested in hearing your opinions on the BBC programme, which has helped me understand the points which you raised. My husband and I had our first visit yesterday from the social worker; I have been thinking about adopting a child for a while now, but my husband is very unsure. This is of course understandable as we chose not to have children and have no regrets. We are 53 now but have physical jobs and are in good health.It needs a lot of thought. Your thoughts would be appreciated. I like your listography, I think I would like to see the end of unnaturally white teeth aka Simon Cowell and the likes.

    Reply
    1. admin Post author

      My husband and I were the same, he was very unsure at first and I was eager to get out of the starting blocks. I believe this is quite common. There are lots of steps to go through before you have to make a firm decision so you could continue to dip your toes in and gather information.
      We adopted at the more difficult end of the scale; two children at the same time, one of whom has complex needs. It is a generalisation to say that the younger the child, the less complex their needs are likely to be, but there is some truth in it.
      Adopting a child is very rewarding. It is also challenging and it is important that before you both commit, you are completely sure that this is right for you. It is not something I would recommend unless you feel fully committed. Children who have been in the care system will test your commitment and need it to be rock solid.

      I hope this is of some use. Contact me again if there is anything else you would like to know. Adoption UK are also a good source of information.

      And thanks for reading my blog and taking the time to comment.

      Reply
  4. Lorraine McHugh

    Just bought your book on amazon and received it today. I have literally not wanted to put it down (been forced to a few times!!) But i am 1/2 way through. It is simply amazing!! Its a fabulous insight to the uk adoption process. We share the same feelings about IVF and genes and it really helps to cement our decision, that others also feel the same and had their families through another route, adoption. Thanks so much
    Best Wishes xxx

    Reply
  5. Bhopinder Nijjar

    Hi Sally

    Sorry if this is cheeky but we need more responses!
    I’m a social worker currently working at Clifton Children’s Society and Action for Children, to look at adoption support services in the South West. I’ve devised a survey about adoption support with a view to eventually look at a website/ data base for adoption support, making it more accessible and with all the support services in one place. Well that’s the aim. Anyhow I was looking to see if you could help, well actually the suggestion came from Julie Selwyn, and whether you could promote the survey and put the link on your website. The survey is for families who live in the following local authorities, BANES, Bristol, Gloucestershire, South Gloucestershire, North Somerset, Wiltshire and Swindon, who will hopefully be coming on board soon.
    Here’s the link

    https://www.snapsurveys.com/wh/s.asp?k=143628167982

    let me know what you think.
    Bhopinder
    07834 006274

    Reply
  6. Victoria

    I have just read your book on Adoptive Parenting. Turn to page 179 ‘Friends and Family’ and I would swear you are writing about me, also page 183 Children Making Friends. My young children are both adopted and we live in a picture postcard village in the south of England and we were so happy and had made many friends. That was at least pre-adoption. Since then not only has my daughter been the victim of being the only one in the class who was not invited to a party but the person I rated as my best friend has shocked me no end; she had wished our IVF cycles would all fail and that she was now punishing me for having adopted children (we were the last childless couple in the group left). Via social media I have seen social events where it is evident that I am no longer part of that inner circle, her words were we are on honeymoon…
    So we find ourselves in a position where our daughter is the perfect middle class school and we live in the most gorgeous village, but we have been outcast from the inner circles that we once belonged to and treated in the most shameful way. We are wondering if it is now time to move on. The sad thing is we invested 14 years into this village, but now we are fishing in a small pond and I feel desperately lonely (all my good friends live in various places across the country and I have no family close by). It is shocking to use your friend as a human punchbag for whatever lurks in your past and today I am at an all time low. I am so run down, I have come down with a horrid virus and am mentally exhausted. I feel I need to find other like minded adoptive parents in my local area as sadly I have to face the realisation that we need to start again. If you or anyone reading this can guide me that would be most helpful.
    Reading your book you have faced the same challenges and overcome them. I take my hat off to you and thank you for helping me realise the problems lie with others, not me. your book is so insightful and rings true in so many ways.

    Reply

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