Yesterday evening I was laid in bed watching the BBC2 Culture Show programme about Hilary Mantel on iplayer. Her writing is simple and uncluttered but gets to the heart of things. Her Man Booker Prize winner ‘Wolf Hall’ is one of the best books I have ever read. I was enjoying listening to her talk about her life and then she said one thing which cut deep,
‘I miss the children I never had.’
She was sat alone, in an empty room, emotion backed up in her throat.
I have had cause to think about infertility recently, not my own, but that of others and so I have been remembering a place which had lain forgotten for some time. I see the pain and grief and isolation and I want to make it all right, make it better.
As is her talent, Hilary got to the very centre of the fear. It was a fear I could not face which is a great part of the reason why Rob and I decided to adopt children. I would love to say it is easy, but it is not, it is sometimes beyond difficult, but it is often glorious.